Send me on my way

Yesterday, for the first time in over a year, Luke and I went to church.

Our hiatus wasn't intentional. We went once with Kara last Easter and fully intended to start going regularly until BAM!, knocked up again, and the morning sickness came with a vengeance, and it was all I could do to make it to work on time, let alone pursue "optional" activities like praising Jesus beyond the confines of my home. When we moved into our house last fall, we discovered a darling little Episcopalian church not ten minutes from our subdivision, and after reading more about the parish online we talked a good game about going, but we were overwhelmed with settling in and I was ginormously pregnant and then soon I had Nathan and excuses excuses excuses. I finally decided that if we waited to go until we were ready, we would never be ready. So after breakfast, I told Luke enough is enough. We quickly showered, wrangled the kids into the car, and arrived a few minutes into the first reading (a freaking miracle for us these days).

Sitting in the pew, Nathan strapped to my chest in the baby carrier (now that I've conquered my fear of all the straps and buckles, I am in love love LOVE with the baby carrier and use it all the time for walks, shopping trips, etc.) while Luke held Kara on his lap, I couldn't help but think about how far I've come in my spiritual journey. As a child, I hated going to church--the low lighting put me to sleep and I spent the majority of the time checking out neighborhood boys--and even as a young adult it often felt like a chore, going through the motions to pay tribute to my faith and/or trying to fit into the mold of the customized tradition I grew up in. It's taken me twenty-nine years, but I'm now in a place where I gravitate to God not out of fear or obligation but from a place of gratitude and an eagerness to learn more about my place in this world. The pastor gave a wonderful sermon about trimming the fat from your life, and she said something that deeply rang true for me. "There are two ways to get enough," she said. "You can gather more, or you can desire less." That's what I want to strive for, embracing the whole "less is more" concept; to live a life mostly devoid of clutter and outside noise and focused more inward. I want friendship and outreach and plenty of time for rest and reflection. (Clearly there is room to grow in this area.)

Can I do all this and still subscribe to regular date nights with my DVR? Only time will tell.

But I digress.

After the service, Luke and I were approached by several members of the congregation and given a brief tour of the facility. We saw the nursery where Kara can hang out during Mass if we so desire, and we learned about various ministries and received pamphlets spelling out the church's kid-friendly programs, and by the time we made it back to the car, we were hooked. I've already requested christening information because Nathan will be four months old soon and the former Catholic in me can't help but think we should have closed the deal on him a long time ago. But God gets it. At least, that's what Luke said when I commented on his opting out of the kneeling parts of the service to keep Kara at bay. "He has lots of kids. He knows what it's like," he said.

Now that Nathan has cleared the newborn stage and Kara is continuing to blow our minds with her quirky little-girlisms, I'm nervous but excited to venture beyond our comfort zones to become more community-oriented. On Friday night we had one of my new coworkers over for dinner so she could meet the kids, as she'll be watching them when Luke and I see Billy Joel and Elton John next week, and on Saturday we test-drove a Gymboree class for Kara, and amidst all the activity I started feeling a little sad because for the longest time it's just been Luke, me, and the kids, perfectly content to hole up and remain separate from the outside world, quietly enjoying our family. Now as we welcome more people and activities into our lives, we'll have to lose a little bit of the intimacy that goes along with doing everything on your own. Luckily, we'll lose the loneliness, too.

Also, maybe some pregnancy weight.

(OK, so that one's all me. But I can't complain too much when the end results are so damned cute.)

 

 

Comments

[debi]

Great post. I love that you have found a church home and all that comes with that. I must say that babywearing looks so cute on you. Since the new grandbaby will be living at our home I plan to wear that little one every chance I get.

[AJU5's Mom]

I am glad the church seems very child friendly! This may be what y'all needed to find "social" time for Kara that isn't too stressful. Praise God!

[Parsing Nonsense]

How exciting that life's finally settled down enough to enable you to go to church and start venturing out! I totally hear you on the quiet domesticity that comes with being holed up at home all the time, but hopefully being out in the world will bring you some new kinds of joy as well!

[Trilby]

I'm glad that things are settling down a bit for you and that you've found a church that you like.

What kind of baby carrier do you have? I'm looking into getting one b/c my double stroller is HUGE.

[daddyd]

Church is part of life and part of life is church. There is to be a proper balance in that church can take a lot of time. The proper social structure is that lots of people share in the work load. I know a lady that may have the layleader job for life. She is that good, but she need not do everything. There is great joy not only in worship, but also in Sunday school class. The interaction therein is very positive. The concept of "less is more" has a lot of value.

[Megan]

Ditto on wondering about the baby carrier--I have the bjorn, and Lila hates it b/c she still has to face in. The back comes up above her head, so she can't really turn her head, or see anything but my chest when she's in it. I like that Nathan can see out in yours! (But I also think he's a little older than Lila, so that could be the case.)

[Jenny]

Glad to hear about your church. It's important to have that connection.

Happy Belated Mothers Day!!

[Frema]

Re: the baby carrier: Last year I received two different carriers from Parents.com to review for an online article they were putting together. I got rid of the sling because I couldn't figure out how to use it, but the one I kept and liked was the Maclaren Techno Baby Carrier (pictured above). At first I was intimidated by all the buckles, but now I love it, and it's super easy to strap Nathan in. Plus, like Megan mentioned, he's able to see out just fine. I have no idea how much it costs, though. I got it for free as a thank-you for submitting feedback.

Also, I believe Amalah wrote a column about baby carriers on the Advice Smackdown at some point. I think she uses an Ergo and likes it a lot.