"Why are you selling the house?"

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post about revisiting major life choices, reflecting on the outcome, and wondering if I'd do it all again. I followed up a week later with the age-old question, "To live or not to live near your family?" My first entry for October talked about revamping our budget to accommodate new goals. And my last one highlighted our latest in a string of whirlwind weekends up north, with a good-natured jab at caffeine.

Put those macro-level concepts together and it's not hard to understand why we want to sell our house.

 

Luke with the kids at a nearby orchard earlier this month. All hail the beauty of a simple but meaningful day.

That is not to say that Luke and I have a carved-in-stone plan we are following or that we have any idea how this process will play out. We want to get closer to our families, but that could mean finding a place on the other side of town just as easily as it could translate into planting roots in one of their zip codes. And we are not willing to compromise the basic elements of our lives just to reduce the mileage on our cars: anyplace we live must be affordable on a one-income salary, have a solid school system (not five star, but pretty damn good), boast of parks, walking trails, and other forms of outdoor recreation, and be a managable commuting distance from my employer (whether my current one or another). We just have a new non-negotiable to add to the mix, and that is yes, reducing the mileage on our cars to spend more time with the people we love. No Impact Man would be proud.

We don't know what the future looks like, but we DO know that in order to get there, we can't stay as we are.

There are so many things to love about our current community. So much of what we are looking for is right in our backyard. I can access an entire trail system simply by hopping my fence. The integrity of the schools is without question. The town is quaint, easy to navigate, and cheap. But those things on their own are not enough to keep us here forever.

I long for the days when we could visit during a holiday and still crash in our own bed at night. I lament over missed time with friends because you can only call on so many people over the span of a weekend, and family touchpoints have always come first. I want to offer a shoulder and an ear more often in the literal sense than I'm able to now. I would love for Samantha to be able to call me on a random Saturday morning to watch Danny and Rosemary so that she and Dan can drool over tile. And Luke and I certainly wouldn't say no to the free baby-sitting likely to be offered in return.

These desires do not seem unreasonable to me.

Many people live away from their hometowns and do just fine seeing their parents at Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. But Luke and I have never been those people, and it's time to start carving out a life that more honestly reflects our behavior. Our home is with each other and the kids, obviously, but as a wife, mother, and full-time employee, I appreciate the whole "It takes a village" mindset much more than I did as a single twenty-something grad student, that's for sure. And as a stay-at-home dad, Luke identifies with it on a different level even from me.

There are non-family issues at play here, too, of course. Like, our grocery stores are mostly filled with boxed, frozen, and/or imported items, with nary a Trader Joe's or Whole Foods or like-minded retailer in sight. Public transportation is limited and inefficient. Diversity is somewhat lacking, at least compared to a population like Chicago's. But I know that being a child of Chicago means I am setting the bar relatively high in that area.

Originally, the plan was to put the house on the market come spring; that plan has changed for reasons I can't share yet. But Luke and I are in agreement that, as soon as it's feasible, we will put our house on the market, and we will sell it, and we will rent an apartment near my job's new headquarters, and THEN we will be in a position to answer the questions that until now have been hypothetical at best. And I can't wait.

 

Comments

[daddyd]

Again, this post has been well thought out. There are many factors that come into play during the passage of time. Today's look has today's forces in play. Then tomorrow there maybe other factors in play than require a different reaction. The sum total of all factors over time will point toward a way to go.

[Molly]

I can't wait either! I, too, will happily trade you babysitting services. And when we're feeling really crazy maybe we both can get sitters and tear up the town on a double date. But I'm getting ahead of myself, there. :)

[Trilby]

I hope all your plans pan out in a way that makes you and your family the happiest! Kara and Nathan are just too cute for words. :)

[rkmama]

It feels good to have a solid plan in place, huh? I wish we were there but unfortunately due to when we bought (prices MUY inflated) and now (um, not so much) we're stuck until things come back up. The limbo is KILLING ME in the selfish I WANNA MOVE sense,but of course we're also very thankful to live so comfortably in these times.

I can totally see how being close to family, especially at holiday times, is important. Now you either have to pick up everything and go on a pilgrimage, sacrificing your own little families chance at creating your own traditions or stay put and sacrifice the dynamic of extended family traditions. And the own bed thing is pretty priceless :)

Great post!

[Jen L.]

Wishing you a quick sale and an easy transition!

[Parker_B]

Your timing of putting the house on the market has changed for "reasons I can't share yet." Omg, are you preggers?