How number three came to be

I guess I can archive these past few years of drama regarding to three or not to three in my Waste of Time file, huh?

Thank you all so much for the congratulations and well wishes on this pregnancy. It's been a surreal few weeks around here, that's for sure.

For those interested, a timeline:

October 10
Let me preface this by saying the entire fall season has been a blur of activity for my young little family. Weddings, bachelorette parties, middle-of-the-night births, work trips, guy weekends - all of them took place one after the other, at least two and a half hours away from home. I worked one Friday in September and was out of the office six days in October (mixture of work and personal). We have certainly enjoyed celebrating these happy events and good times with our loved ones, but all that travel produced a constant undercurrent of fatigue among the adults in our house. Which does not exactly lay the groundwork for, ahem, proper romantic relations.

This particular weekend began with my returning from a corporate-related field visit to Clarksburg, West Virginia, at 10:30 p.m. that Friday, resulting from a 15-minute delay of my initial flight that caused me to miss my connecting flight, and of course the next couple of flights back home were either full or became full after passengers other than myself were rescued from Airport Hell via standby lottery. I missed Kara and Nathan's bedtime when I should have been home for their mid-afternoon snack. It was a long day.

The following morning, Luke and his brother drove to Sandusky, Ohio, to hang out at Cedar Point Amusement Park until Sunday afternoon. I had a wonderful time playing with my kids, but hot damn, I missed mah husband.

So that night, after the children were asleep and the dishes were washed and Facebook appropriately monitored, Luke and I cracked open a bottle of wine we had purchased more than two months ago and settled in for a quiet, relaxing evening. An evening that just so happened to end with me asking, "You do know what could have just happened, right?"

Luke nodded, shrugging his shoulders. Obviously the wine had lowered his inhibitions. (Not that I was complaining.)

Quickly I did the math regarding my September visit from Aunt Flo and measured it against the average length of my cycles (32-34 days), and as we turned out the lights I confidently summarized, "Well, my last cycle was before Gina's wedding, so it should be here any day now. I'm sure we're probably safe."

Only the longer I thought about it, the less confident I felt. Since Luke and I have consisently used protection since Nathan was born, I don't make a conscious effort to track my cycles; i.e., there were no helpful Xs on the calendar for me to verify this now-critical piece of information. Then I remembered that, in fact, I had NOT gotten my period before the wedding, but after, vividly recalling my thankfulness to Flo on the morning of September 19 for staying away from my two-hundred-plus-dollar bridesmaid dress. 

I eventually changed my stance and told Luke, who could barely keep his eyes in his sockets by this point, "If we had been TRYING to have a baby, we couldn't have picked a better time."

Obviously, that was not the case with Luke's urology consult (November 3) (which has since been cancelled) (of course).

Meanwhile, the opening scene from Look Who's Talking was being re-enacted in my uterus.

October 11 - October 20
For almost two weeks we were stuck in The Land of Not Knowing, hashing out next steps if it turned out I was pregnant, and me preparing myself for the news that I wasn't, because I so, so wanted another baby and I knew this was my only chance to realize this dream. We have been so cautious for so long that it was a miracle this random fluke even happened at all. We were not trying, and would not be trying. It was now or never.

I looked for cosmic signs that another pregnancy was meant to be, like our recent financial overhaul and the last-minute decision not to sell our carseat. The brand-new, twice-used Ergo carrier sitting in Nathan's closet begging to hold a child who wouldn't scream and flail about angrily because "I wanna walk, Mommy." Also, our track record for accidentally conceiving children.

Then again, we were living a wonderful life with the family we had right now, and it was so much easier for us to get around, and I didn't miss night feedings or nursing anxiety or c-section recovery or taking almost a year to resume my pre-pregnancy weight. We had exciting plans for the future. Financial security was in sight. I was going to visit another continent, even, to help Molly get her precious baby next year. And one day, we would be foster parents, and possibly even obtain our third child that way. Another baby would be like taking two steps back, right? Life is good, I told myself. I will be okay.

October 21
That week I confided in several people about my maybe baby, with varied responses. That Thursday afternoon, I finally told my coworkers, and because a number of us have been experiencing random bouts of baby fever since the summer, they were super-excited; to the point that they eventually convinced me to run to the pharmacy and take a First Response during lunch.

I only took it because I was sure it would be negative. Even if I were pregnant, it was too soon to tell. Wasn't it?

"I'm not even late yet," I warned them as I headed to the bathroom. "It's only Day 32."

On a related note, did you know that a home pregnancy test can now be accurate as early as six days before your missed period? When Nathan was conceived, they were only at five. Slowpokes!

Two minutes later, I was running downstairs with two pink lines and one shaky left hand.

They were all so surprised I didn't call Luke the minute I got the positive, but I knew the news had to be shared in person. So I left work a few minutes early and cornered Luke in the kitchen once I was home. He was at the sink, washing dishes.

"I told the girls at work today about maybe being pregnant," I said, hand in purse searching for my precious evidence. "They were so happy, they wanted me to take a test."

"Did you tell them it was too early?" he asked, his own hands submersed in dishwater.

"That's what I said, but they told me that now you can get a positive reading from a drugstore test six days before you miss your period!"

"Yeah? So do you want to--" He stopped short after turning around, slowly taking in the white stick held snugly between my fingers. His eyes grew wide.

"Oooh."

-------

Baby number three was definitely not part of our current life plan. Many adjustments will have to be made. Like, no more Africa next year (which I am so, so sad about, but Molly has been great), and a major vehicle upgrade, and money for prenatal visits and hospital bills and maternity leave. I will have to prepare myself to once again dance with nursing and hopefully, finally, make it my bitch. Plus, navigate all the insecurities that go along with mothering a brand-new person AS WELL AS adjust to being outnumbered by an army of children under the age of four.

And yet, just try to wipe this silly grin off my face. Just try.

Comments

[Kelly]

You are so wonderful about being honest and sharing! I only have one three year-old and do not want anymore(I'm a teacher and think that has something to do with it)! But I'm so excited for you!!! Finding out I was pregnant was the coolest thing! I will NEVER forget it! Plus, the look on my husband's face was priceless!!! Thanks for sharing! :)

[Jess]

We have the same story. Except mine was with beer, and I was the one who was a little relaxed (totally drunk off my ass), and apparently I TOLD him I was fine. That I was about to get my cycle, so GO AHEAD! Have FUN!

I do not remember that conversation.

And hello baby 4!

[Jen L.]

This is a most fantastic post, particularly the re-enactment of Look Who's Talking happening in your uterus. I'm soooo excited about Number Three!!!

[Cluelessmom]

"...AS WELL AS now being outnumbered by an army of children under the age of four."

ROFL!

[Christina]

Man, I am just insanely excited for you. Oddly excited.

Mike is getting The Big V in January and I'm all,, we'll lets not "accidently" get pregnant before then. I know we're done but I wouldnt be At ALL upset if it happend, though with a 20 week old who is up twice a night to nurse and not having a period yet- and oh, the NOT trying I think I'd take A LOT of wine and a miracle to happen. That being said, I'm not angling. I'm not, I'm okay with two- I love my two. Of course. I also love my house that wont fit another and NOT driving a minivan. But I do so love that new baby smell;I should just go smell the one I already have.

Congrats, friend! I want to hug you.

[Bethany]

I am also excited for you! I am also cracking up that you had to search your purse for the pee stick!

[Midwest Mommy]

Congrats! This story put a smile on my face. Somethings are just meant to be.

[Tara]

I am SO happy for you guys. I always read and rarely comment (usually I have a nursing or wiggly baby on my lap when I get computer time). We have two kids and I KNOW in my heart I want a third, so I think I have secretly been pulling for you guys all along ;)

[Erica]

So funny. "look who's talking" was my favorite line :) Our third was a similar story, oh heck, who am I kidding, all three weren't really planned out. Welcome to zone defense. You will be great!

[AJU5's Mom]

I am leaning more and more to a third. But I don't know if I can handle being out numbered ALL THE TIME! It is bad enough being outnumbered when my husband is at work...

Congrats again!

[rkmama]

I am just so excited for you guys. Yay for three!

[Dorie]

We were also in the "to three or not to three" drama for awhile. Our third baby is three months old and we couldn't be happier. He fits into our family so well and we now have that done feeling that everyone talks about. BTW, nursing did not work with my first two but worked beautifully with the third. Third time's a charm! Though I have to admit I guiltily decided long term nursing just wasn't for me and switched to the bottle anyway.

[Dorie]

also - congratulations!

[Trilby]

I have such a high baby fever, I may have seizures soon. I'm just thrilled for you guys. :)

[Blanche]

The best gifts are the unexpected ones.

(And can I say this post totally takes me back to your pre-Kara writing style? The best I can describe it is savory nuggets of giggle-worthy wording.)

[Brandy]

I most definitely have baby fever down here in Bloomington but I also have an IUD so I don't have to worry about a third quite yet. I am OVER THE MOON happy for you all though and can't wait to hear all about this pregnancy and your newest addition to come.

[Joanne]

I'll say this - I had three in less than four years and nursing was unbelievably easy for me the third time, after sucking and blowing the first two times. So maybe it will be your bitch, indeed! I wish you the best of luck, I'm sure it will be crazy but great. Did you get rid of everything? Do you need a bassinet? Or a baby bath? I am getting rid of some baby stuff, as we are moving, and I'm local. Email me if you're interested in some free baby stuff!

[liz]

So I'm WAY behind in my Google Reader and just now seeing your last few posts! So Happy for you!! I knew you wanted this and can't wait to follow the journey. Also? I think my favorite stories are the pregnancy test stories and the tellings to the future daddies. Love those.

[Megan]

Congratulations!! I am so happy for you! I haven't been on your blog in awhile and was very excited to see the news. My second is five months old and I already have baby fever (we want four) so it was nice to experience what it was like for you to find out about the third.