Six(ish) weeks

When I started drafting this entry last Wednesday, there weren't any signs of morning sickness to be had, so aside from some run-of-the-mill fatigue and uterine cramping, I was feeling well and therefore insanely optimistic. Baby number three = warm fuzzies of completeness! My family can take on anything! Who needs a savings account when you have love?

Then practically overnight I was nodding off during storytime and experiencing constant stomach upset and swearing off pork chops and coffee. Yesterday I couldn't stop worrying over my ability to divide my time among three children, and today I almost cried actual tears because Subway told me they were out of chicken and dumpling soup, so I suppose we have officially entered the Trimester of Sick and Raging Hormones.

And I really was doing so well. From the moment we suspected I might be pregnant, I've been telling Luke how much easier it will be for us this time around. For starters, we'll only have one baby to deal with instead of two, as Kara and Nathan are pretty self-sufficient as far as toddlers go - ability to play independently, (mostly) follow basic directions, operate utensils without assistance, and put themselves to sleep with (mostly) minimal fanfare. Kara is almost potty-trained and should be completely diaper-free come summer. (We recently tried underwear instead of pull-ups for bedtime, with mixed results, so we are going to try again in another month or two.) Luke is going to work on Nathan soon, who is already showing a vague interest, thanks to the example set by his sister.

More positives: I will give birth in the summer, a first for me, which will allow us to be out and about for the bulk of my maternity leave, once I've recovered from my c-section. Summer break means that Luke's parents and Dan and Samantha will have an easier time spending time with us while the baby is new. I have a couple of honest-to-goodness friends in the area to lean on for support, and we have a reliable baby-sitter at our disposal. My newfound commitment to eating less junk food and being more physically active during this pregnancy should hopefully better prepare my body to bounce back from surgery. We won't be house-hunting or planning a move this time, or making any drastic changes to our home, save for some new paint in a few rooms and reorganizing some furniture, so life should be calmer.

And yet, as I review our finances, and lament over still being so far away from family, and remember how hard it was to get back in the swing of things after the arrival of each child and how vulnerable I always feel in those early months, and how unforgiving the world seems, I get nervous and scared and wonder what the hell Luke and I have gotten ourselves into. I wonder if I will ever have free time again, if we will ever have money again, if we will ever move beyond this "coming into our own" phase and achieve the long-term goals we have set for ourselves.

It will be okay. I think we just need a little more time to adjust.

In the meantime, it's not too late to show off Halloween pictures, is it?

 

This was the first year we took the kids trick-or-treating, and to mark the occasion we let them pick out their own costumes at Target. We went two weeks before Halloween, so options in Kara's size were pretty sparse. Luckily, she was able to don something she liked - a firefighter costume, just like Grandpa (my dad).

 

Nathan was a puppy. He kept calling the ears his "puppy hat." Let the squeeing commence.

 

The act of trick-or-treating was somewhat complicated this year, as Luke and I were out of town that Saturday for my cousin's wedding reception, but one of the news websites said our area would be celebrating on Sunday night as it should be, so we thought we were safe, only after coming back on Sunday afternoon to carve pumpkins and deposit eight dollars' worth of chocolate bars into a bowl near the front door and after getting the children good and excited about visiting numerous strangers' houses for candy, we learned that the news website Luke had found was actually from last year, and that all local festivities had taken place the day before, while we were in Chicago. So we scrambled through dinner, threw the costumes on the kids, and drove twenty minutes to a neighboring town to fulfill their toddler fantasies. Ah, parenthood.

Comments

[Jen L.]

Subway has chicken and dumpling soup? Sorry, I digress. I hate that you're feeling barftastic. I hope it lightens up sooner this time and that you're able to enjoy your pregnancy.

As for feeling beyond the "coming into our own" phase, I honestly believe you'll feel that once the craziness of having another newborn calms down. It's clear that you have wanted a third baby all along and I have a feeling you'll (eventually) have that "complete" feeling folks talk about experiencing when they know their family is just the right size. I think this new little person is going to round out your household perfectly. And don't forget to take one of your famous shots in the bathroom mirror at work when your belly pops out!

They are so cute in their costumes!

[Megan]

I can definitely relate! I also spoke too soon about feeling like this 3rd time I might skip the "Trimester of Sick and Raging Hormones" as you put it. The very cruel irony is I now think it is worse than it ever was. Every day I wonder alternate between eagerness and wonder what we are doing adding a 3rd. Take care!

[Bren]

I think it will be easier for you this time around. The second time is easier and since your second time was right on top of your first, we'll call this your second and a half time! I don't know how you did it with two BABIES at the same time, but now that they are older, you will really be able to enjoy the new little one. As for the finances, as soon as I realized how much more we would pay in daycare - I just stopped dwelling on it and chalked it up to another person to love and she is well worth it! You can't sweat the pennies! (or dollars or hundreds of dollars etc.)

[Bethany]

Don't worry. It will all work out.

[Must Be Motherhood]

As "they" say: nothing worth having is easy to obtain. Or something like that. It'll probably be rough for a while, but you'll be so happy with the outcome. Just imagine: a new little character in your brood! So exciting.

[rkmama]

I have nothing but big hugs for you. Hormones can wreak total havoc one minute and make your hair shiny the next. Unpredictable bastards.

And what is this changing of the trick or treating thing? I'm confused!

[Trilby]

Oh my! They are so cute in their costumes. It's never too late for pictures!

[taobao agent]

Knowledge is important for us!