MyTubes*

* I changed the title because "Headaches, rambles" was very boring and vague and hello, there is an actual topic for this entry, only I didn't realize that until the drive home last night, which is when I thought up this little gem. How could I not use it?

I hit 11 weeks in this pregnancy yesterday, and the most noteworthy tidbit I can offer regarding this topic is that I've been plagued with a recurring headache for more than a week now that can't be alleviated with soda or chocolate. No change in my level of fatigue, nausea, or tendency to gag over smells ranging in intensity from air freshener to number two diapers (thank you, son). With Kara I started feeling better around week 20; Nathan was a few weeks earlier than that, so let's cross our fingers that the month of January brings wondrous feelings of joy and mirth.

My second prenatal appointment for Number Three took place on Monday, where I heard the baby's heartbeat through the Doppler for the first time, pounding away at a whopping160 bpm. Was it a sign that I'm having a girl? A byproduct of my key lime cheesecake from lunch? The world may never know. In any event, things are looking good, fetus-wise.

I also spent some time talking to my ob/gyn about having my tubes tied sometime after delivery.

Seeing as this is our second surprise pregnancy, and knowing that Luke and I conceived Kara when we were open to children but not officially "trying," it shouldn't shock anyone that I am obsessing over the best way to shut down this baby train. While there has always been a hankering for a third baby, I harbor no such illusions regarding a fourth. I am deeply grateful that I have been able to conceive so easily, without the aid of charts or medication or invasive procedures that can go on for years, and that I have given birth to two beautiful, healthy children. But still. Overall, I do not enjoy pregnancy, and I am still freaking out over earning enough bacon to support five people, and my husband would like to go back to work before he turns 50. That is not too much to ask.

Speaking of Luke, he has always been willing to "take care of things," so to speak, and that is still an option. Early next year we hope to get him to the urologist for a consult and determine how much of The Snip is covered by our insurance. If we can swing it financially, we would love nothing more than to "address this issue" before I go under the knife in June. (Are you loving my double entendres today?) That actually makes the most sense, since a tubal would require yet another surgery for me. I deliver at a Catholic hospital, so a two-in-one deal is not an option, and I'm not sure how long I would need to wait after delivery to have it done, and I don't care to leave myself susceptible to another happy surprise for very long.

For a while after Nathan I seriously considered the Essure procedure, which seems to be my practice's first choice for female sterilization, but reading this thread about failures and complications was enough for me to say KEEP THOSE COILS AWAY FROM ME, YOU.

I think this is all coming about because I'm feeling pretty powerless these days. I can't help myself physically feel better, our household budget is in chaos after paying on life insurance premiums, car repairs, and (drastically scaled-down) Christmas expenses all in the same month, and our place is a mess because I can't bring myself to even fold a basket of laundry. (Did I mention that I am an absolute baby when I'm sick?) The idea of snuggling a squeaky little newborn excites me beyond belief, but preparing for that baby will be a lot of work, and the adjustment period will be a lot of work, and I know myself well enough now to say I am not in my element in the first year. Although, recent interactions with Kara lead me to think that the toddler years aren't shining the light on my finest hours, either.

Anyway, I am done with surprise pregnancies and worrying about birth control and stressing over various infant-related issues. Part of what is getting me through this first trimester is knowing that I'm doing this for the last time. The sooner I can enjoy reproductive freedom, the better. 

(I did mention that I'm grateful for this, too, right? You all know what I mean.)

Comments

[Erica]

I had my tubes tied after my third. Now I kind of regret it. I think it's a longing to snuggle a new baby. Because then I look at my 12, 9, &6 year old and think "What are you thinking woman?" :) I had mine tied 6 weeks after Ben was born. It was an easy in and out procedure. It was a second surgery but my insurance covered it. The next day I was working out in our yard building a flower bed, so recovery is quick. Good luck on whatever decision you make.

[Jen L.]

My tubal was easy-breezy. Very minimally invasive, super-quick healing process. My scar looks like a paper cut. And reproductive freedom is WONDERFULLLLLLLL!!!!That sucks that you can't do it while they're already in there delivering #3. I've had friends do it during C-sections and they said they didn't even notice a difference in their recovery.

I hope you feel better soon, dear. Pregnancy symptoms are just no fun, are they?

[Bren]

I was scheduled to have the Essure in two weeks but will now be cancelling that appointment! Yikes! The sad thing is - I had a c-section with my second but it was an emergency one so no chance to tell them to tie my tubes while they were in there (I had other things on my mind!).

[Jess]

Yeah. I so get it.

I'm 13 weeks, and finally not sick anymore.

I will tell you, though, that in so many ways, the transition from 2 to 3 was an easier one for us. 1 to 2 was SO hard. But 2 to 3? Barley a blip. And our 3rd had a really, really rough start.

Hubs is totally getting the snip in the spring. And I'm getting an IUD after this babes is born. JUST BECAUSE. With my luck? I'll get preggo again and it'll be twins.

[Trilby]

I hope the morning sickness abates for you. I remember VIVIDLY what smells or textures would set me off *gag* and my youngest is 2!

If you don't mind answering, why won't the hospital allow you to have your tubes tied while you're having a c-section?

I hope you feel better soon. :)

[Leigh]

If your insurance is anything like mine (and mine's pretty standard), my hubby's Snip only cost us $15.

Well, $15 plus the motorcycle I bribed him with. But it was money WELL SPENT.

[Kerry]

If your husband is willing to have the big V, what's the problem? DO IT! Best decision we ever made! Did I mention that it's the best decision we ever made?? Hope you feel better soon :)

[rkmama]

Even though we're very set on being done after our hypothetical 3rd is born, I don't think I could ever do something permanent. Bill has talked about a vasectomy and if that's really what he wants then I'll go along with it but...life can change so fast...I have a hard time saying Never Again. Unless I'm pregnant or delivering because I'm pretty sure during both I said never again. I'm a hypocrite like that :).
And YES. When you feel like you're allergic to your own body you do need to find a sense of control in other aspects of your life. Best of luck in the decision making process!

[Brandy]

One of my closest friends lives in the Indy area and was also planning to deliver at a Catholic hospital but changed her mind so she could have her tubes done at the same time. She was happy with it but obviously that is NOT for everyone. Another friend of mine had his "big V" done almost exactly a year ago and could not have been happier. While we don't know if we're done yet we also know that if we decide to go for a third that will be our last and both my husband and I will be getting procedures done to ensure no more babies. We're friends with a couple that have a fifth baby after a vasectomy. You just never know!

[Blanche]

I read "earning enough bacon" as _eating_ enough bacon. (which only makes sense since bacon was my most serious pregnancy craving)

Hope you are feeling better soon!

Since I was considering the Mirena until I realized that (1) hormonal birth control does not enhance my life, and (2) well, I doubt there's any real need for it given our issues, I have no input on the tubes or V considerations. At this point I'd kinda welcome a surprise, you know?

[eva]

Well good for you for having the courage to consider a permanent end of the line for the baby train! Although it seems ridiculous that a hospital that WILL tie tubes won't do so while you're opened up and they have access to said tubes, but whatever...maybe it just IS Luke's turn for some reproductive procedure-ing ;)

[daddyd]

Hope you are feeling better at this time. Your thoughts are solid as always.