Be happy

Confession: I am a terrible book club member.

I fully embrace the concept of reading materials that fall outside my radar and that I would otherwise never be exposed to. Even more than that, I love getting together with folks who are reading these same books in order to generate thoughts and ideas about characters, plot, and overall meaning.

What is NOT working out for me, however, is actually reading the damn things.

While part of this can be attributed to pregnancy fatigue and its accompanying short attention span, I think the bigger issue is that it's difficult for me to push through books I personally wouldn't have selected for no other reason than to meet a deadline. The gals in my club are highly educated and have extremely smart taste (waves to Katy), and I'm sure I would enjoy these books if I could get over the inital reader's block that goes along with picking up a new title. Unfortunately, these days my ability to just hang in there is already at capacity. And because at this point I can only focus on one book at a time, what ends up happening is that I put off reading things I'm sincerely interested in in favor of fulfilling my "obligations," but because meeting those obligations feels like a chore, I find myself not reading anything at all.

For someone who's always described herself as an avid reader, this is unacceptable. Also, since I've taken a leave from the club to conserve budget dollars, anyway, there's no reason to continue this self-imposed form of restriction.

So this weekend, I returned last month's selection to the library and immediately dove into The Happiness Project, a book I've been chomping at the bit to read since I first heard about it last year. I even shelled out precious actual dollars to buy it when it was released in paperback earlier this month, because inherently I knew it would be the sort of book that required underlining, note-taking, and eventually, re-reading.

Funny, isn't it? In order to read The Happiness Project, first I had to grant myself permission to be happy.

-------

In the middle of last year, at a point where I felt stagnant and uninspired, I started giving serious thought as to why I felt unsatisfied and what it would take to make me happier. It involved owning up to my shortcomings and limitations, defining my long-term goals, and re-evaluating my priorities. It required sharing those insights with Luke and the two of us formulating a plan for changing the direction of our lives. Thankfully, we were in agreement as to what should come next, and while we're experiencing a brief delay in regards to its implemention, this plan is constantly at the forefront of our minds; it drives our savings habits, influences our short-term decisions, and keeps us hopeful about the future. I also find it easier to accencuate the positive in the day-to-day I have now, appreciate my blessings, and gain perspective.

But again, in order to reach these conclusions, Luke and I had to admit that all the great things we have in our lives right now aren't enough to bring us long-term joy. We also realized that we can't improve our situation by hoping to magically inherit traits and desires that aren't in sync with who we are.

Our plan will take some time to accomplish--many months, I'm sure, possibly even years. There are a lot of moving parts that can't be achieved in tandem. But I would rather spend the next few years in slow, baby-steps transition than an indefinite amount of time trying to settle for what society says should make me happy.

Comments

[Molly]

I read this a few months ago and really liked it. I made myself a "Rules for Happiness" list, and I can't remember if I made it because she suggested so, or because I was jealous that she had such a good working notion of the things that made her happy. Either way, that was fun too. :)

[rkmama]

I'm about a third of the way through the book. I started a goal list last January with definable check-ins and progress markers but not to the extent of the author of THP. Hopefully reading it will help me figure out a better definition of what I've already started.
Keep me posted on what you think when you're finished!

[daddyd]

Ringo's grandfather in "Hard Days Night" said," You can learn from books, you know."
It is always good to be thinking and getting thoughts that could be of value. The real joy is putting good thoughts into action. Keep working on those thoughts and the outcome will be the best for everyone.

[eva]

Our book club's next read is "The Awakening" by Kate Chopin. Most of the way through it I realized that (a) I had no idea what was going on with Edna or why and (b) I didn't care. I will just show up to catch up with my book club friends. Just like last month with "Blood Meridian". The Happiness Project sounds much more my speed!