Home improvement

I don't think I'm a very good homeowner.

To be clear: I like owning a home. I enjoy not having to answer to a higher authority if I want to paint a wall or replace a faucet or handle some other type of administrative task. What I despise is actually doing those things that would make my house a nicer place to live in.

Since we found out about Baby Brother 2.0 back in October, Luke and I have been talking about various projects we intended to tackle before his arrival. At first the list seemed pretty ambitious: repaint the entire kitchen (plus cabinets) and adjoining half-bathroom; paint both kids' rooms and the bathroom at their end of the hall; winterize the backyard and FINALLY lay down some seed to repair the dead patches of grass we inherited from the previous owners (courtesy of their four dogs). Replace the ripped-up screens on the second floor. Revamp the landscaping in the front of the house.

We're not talking major renovations like knocking out a wall or updating our shower, just a little sprucing up here and there that would be easier to do before the baby comes rather than after.

Let me tell you what we have accomplished so far:

• Replaced the screens (as of Wednesday, with help from Luke's parents)
• Mowed the lawn and scattered seed (as of yesterday)
• That is all

Part of it is money; paint isn't expensive, necessarily, but it's also not cheap, and buying gallons of new color to throw on our walls when we are so focused on paying down debt just isn't a top priority. However, if I'm being honest, the bigger issue is the fact that even thinking about taping off edges and laying down plastic and keeping two toddlers away from rooms of wet paint feels like more trouble than it's worth.

Which is a shame, too, because mentally I can also see the outcome of these projects and how they would improve our feelings about living in this house. When I was in Rensselaer and working at Saint Joe, I took two weeks off from work to paint all the rooms in my new little apartment, and I was so proud of my work when I was done.

Then again, I was twenty-five years old with no children and no major expenses to cover, and I could come and go from the project as I pleased without worrying about stopping to manage potty time or fix lunch or give anyone a bath.

Anyway.

It's also lamentable because in my opinion, our house is in need of some serious TLC. Despite hiring painters to do the whole house before our October 2008 move-in, several rooms are already in desperate need of touching up: marks on the walls, scratched-up baseboards and hand rails, spackled areas that are still white as a bride on her wedding day, etc. Apparently, the everyday life of a young, growing family isn't compatible with pretty real estate.

We have leftover paint in the garage, so this type of work could be done without spending a dime, but again, just thinking about the prep involved makes me want to take a nap.

Has anyone else ever felt this blah about their house and eventually gone on to take a more vested interest in home improvement and decorating once their kids grew older? Lazy Inquiring minds want to know.

Comments

[Lauren]

Ugh. I feel ya! First house bought end of December. First baby due in October. Numerous small projects that we want to get done beforehand and all I want to do is nap while I can! I know you are friends with her IRL, but I have to say Molly makes me SO darn jealous with her painting prowess. I read all her posts about how she re-paints and re-decorates AND homeschools. *sigh* To have her energy and determination!!!

[AJU5's Mom]

"Luckily" my husband is all about getting the repairs done. We still don't have doors on our closet or the laundry room (both of which are special order items because of the size), but he does get the other things done. He put in a small retaining wall on Saturday, but it definitely wasn't cheap! And it meant I had the kids to corral while he worked most of the time (occasionally they were willing to help/stay near him). But, the idea of painting isn't a great one. The touch ups shouldn't be too bad, as you could do that without much prep. But baseboards - I hate those things! I would actually wait on those until right before you put the house on the market because with our luck at least, they would need another set of touching up then too...

[Jen L.]

Thank you for writing this and for articulating EXACTLY what I"m feeling. I seriously went into the bathroom and cried over the weekend because somebody (Dean) spilled yet another colored substance on our already nasty, stained carpet. Sure, we could pay now to replace it, but why? He's 3 and messy and it's just going to get worse before it gets better. However, it makes for an embarrassing situation when people come to visit. I feel like I'm constantly apologizing for the state of our (not-so-great) house. We bought a home that had been flipped. I use that word loosely--they did the minimum to make it livable. We find crap wrong all the time. We're with you, though. It seems silly to do some of our improvements now when they'll likely need to be done again in a few years. (And we only have one kid!) We did splurge for new windows a couple of years ago and a new door this winter. Baby steps...

[eva]

We just sold our house...keeping it pristine for showings was pretty close to impossible and if Brad hadn't been out of town and my mom willing to take Megan for sleepovers, it wouldn't have happened. We are also lazy/busy homeowners who like to be out and about with our spare time as a family instead of painting, or having one of us wrangle both kids so the other can fix the fence or whatever. Since our house sold a few days ago it has pretty quickly declined to its usual chaos and I have stopped bothering with daily touch ups of scuffs and chips and signs of wear and tear that come with having two little ones! I'm glad I'm not the only non-Martha Stewart!

[Bren]

Well we have lived here almost 5 years and have still not hung pictures. A new bathroom light has been sitting in my bedroom for about 4 months now and I also can't seem to get myself to touch up those spots in the hallway I missed when we painted 2 years ago. It's almost like I need to wait until the tasks just CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE before getting to them. Our list is long and our house was new when we bought it. There isn't enough time or energy to fully get things up to snuff and I dread the day we decide we may actually want to move. The list would be too long to comprehend!

[Must Be Mom]

Yeah, we have holes in the drywall behind every door upstairs, nicks and marks on the white/cream paint, a fence outside that's falling apart, and a dining room carpet that's COVERED with stains. I have dreams of painting, repairing, getting hardwood floors, etc. And then I can barely keep up with the laundry and food prep. Sigh.

[lisa]

My husband has issued a No More Painting decree since he is always having to touch up the paint when the kids scratch the walls. He'd rather have almost everything the same color. And since he is the one who does the painting, I will just have to live with white, white, and more white. He did paint the kitchen a lovely yellow before the decree came down, so I'm grateful for that.

I have such big gardening plans that never come to fruition. I do well just to get some annuals into the front flowerbed and very occasionally pull out the weeds. I tell myself I'll do a vegetable garden once the kids are old enough to 1) play on their own while I plant it and 2) not dig it all up.

I'm also waiting until the kids are older to redecorate the house because I might as well let them completely ruin the ugly couch and chair we have instead of stressing about keeping new ones nice. I need to get them working a little harder at ruining the area rugs so I can justify new ones along with the furniture! It's kind of too bad they're dark-colored and scotch-guarded!

[Operation Pink Herring]

I hate painting, but I love the outcome. Man, why can't houses just paint themselves?

[daddyd]

Working all day takes so much energy that there is little left over for home projects. Weekends are needed to rest for the next work week. Doing house projects could be the whole of life, if allowed. However, some work gets done as it is really need for family operations.

[Nicole C.]

All I can say is...you are not alone! Home renovation and young children is an impossible combination. Too bad the vacuum can't refresh the paint, as it seems that sucking up food crumbs under the table is all I manage to get done regularly (and I use that term loosely, too)!

[kim]

Painting is not fun or it is the prep work that goes with it. My hubby waits till I go out of town with the little one to do painting and house repairs. With a little one(s) it is hard not to spend time with them and do the house work that needs to be done let alone the house work that you would like to be done.

Don't beat yourself up too much, it is not like your little ones will say someday I wish our house was painted and did not have white spackle marks. They just enjoy the time they get to spend with you.

[Intraocular lenses]

I also hate renovating and home improvement , it's so messy and disturbing, but he result is always like a reward for our struggle and you feel like you have accomplished a duty that seem to lats forever.

[Ruth Mizzell]

Slow down here..........enjoy what you have..in 40 years everything will be spic and span and EMPTY. so what if the walls have smugges and the woodwork is chipped..You are raisng and LOVING a family here......little by little things will get done...magazine homes are for the older couples with no one but themselves not young couples raising young. You want your children to remember the good times.....and giggleing about the day they expermented with paints on themselves and the tables..not that the walls were this perfect color and perfect woodwork and perfect carpet .......but about sitting on the floor in your lap while reading a story.....having the wonderful tea parties....worry about perfection later...because love is more important than perfection, good loving wonderful memories are more important than carpet, paint and keeping up with the Jones. You've got your own home, its yours......make it yours with what goes on inside of it..not how it looks.
In 40 years you can have what your heart desires.......for now just love..just love who you have and what yiou have...
Some of our happiest most cherished times were in our first....small run down house..oh how I 'd love to relive those first years and know what I know now.
love you....Aunt Ruthie