Last spring, I came across a post from Seth Godin about the two most common mistakes in decision making. The first?
Frequently reconsidering decisions that ought to be left alone.
Internet, this is my kryptonite.
If one could be charged with a flip-flop heart, my recurring cliffhangers over how many kids to have, where to plant roots, when to sell our house, and when to start writing my @#$%ing book already would build an excellent case for the prosecution.
THESE decisions I'm totally cool with.
The house came up again this week after Luke did our taxes. If I'm being honest, we actually talk about it every week, if "we" means "I" and "talk about it" means "rehash the same old bullet points in a way that fails to generate productive dialogue."
Last year after we abandoned our plans to sell, we agreed to try again in a year, but as we entered 2013, our financial to-do list was crying uncle. New family car, first family vacay, eliminate the V*sa bill, again, prepare the house for sale. There was nothing left for closing costs, inspection follow ups or a down payment on another place. To say nothing of what our next mortgage should look like.
Boy, am I tired of thinking about selling this house. On the other hand, we could not be less ready to sell this house.
Which is what we figured out this week, again.
When Luke and I became homeowners in 2008, we picked this house believing it could grow with our family. The space was good, the mortgage was affordable on one income, and we could easily (though maybe not cheaply) fix what we didn't like. Seven to ten years, we said. Maybe the rest of our lives.
It wasn't the biggest house we saw, or the nicest. It wasn't even our first choice. But over the years, every time we complain about a broken-down this or low-grade that, the conversation morphs into a property showdown where we pit our two-story against all the runners up and agree for the umpteenth time we made the best decision we could.
Touche, Seth Godin.
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When I was in college, one of my professors said that with each choice you make, you become more free. Maybe that's why my instinct is to accelerate the (presumably) inevitable. Who doesn't want a lighter load? But as I focus on simple this year, and on making fewer commitments, some of the more complicated choices will just have to wait. And that is freeing, too.
Time is always moving forward. Family and job factors are right there at the front of what is needed to take care of. Three is and was the right answer. Just look at that picture. Peace, Love and Joy. And other Good Job.
Posted by: DaddyD | February 14, 2013 at 07:52 AM
I try to remind myself that rehashing past decisions can serve a purpose only if you learn something you can apply to furture decisions. If you've already come up with those lessons (if they were even there), it's time to stop obsessing. Forgive yourself/acknowledge (like you're doing) that you did the best you could, and move forward.
It's easy to say but hard to do when you get stuck in a loop of thinking too much.
Posted by: StateofKate | February 14, 2013 at 09:22 AM
I know this might not be helpful since you want to let the idea of selling your house go. However, we just bought a house and we had to win a bidding war to get it. The houses for sale inventory is at a 10 year low and interest rates are low and houses are supposed to see a 12% value increase this year. This means that there are waaay more buyers than sellers. In my area, houses are selling fast. Even a house with no dishwasher and a pool that needed to be removed sold in less than 30 days. We didn't buy that one, no dishwasher, yikes!
Again, not helpful for letting go, but the market is competitive for sellers again. Best of luck with whatever you decide!
Posted by: Danielle | February 17, 2013 at 08:26 PM