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If I Could Turn Back Time...

...I would do it all differently. Not with ex-boyfriends, bad haircuts, or unfortunate wardrobe choices (although all reflect temporary lapses in good judgement), but money. Cash. Dough.

I began making a full-time salary in July 2002. What bills did I have in July 2002? Practically none. I lived for free in a campus residence hall. There was a crappy 1990 Oldsmobile Cutlass with only liability insurance. A phone bill. Gas for said crappy car. And that's it. Wheeeeee! Out to dinner every weekend! Books and CDs up the wazoo!

Then September introduced me to my pretty 2002 Chevy Cavalier. OK, so now there's a $256 car payment and full coverage for that. But still living for free. Until March, when I decided I am An Adult, and as An Adult, I should live not in a dorm but a pretty little house with An Adult Roommate Who Is Not My Boyfriend. I do this and shoulder on more financial responsibility. Before the end of the year, I decide I am An Adult who should be Independent. I move out. I get a cell phone for use on the drive to and from Chicago, in the event that I become An Adult who find herselfs stranded on I-65. As my financial burdens go up, slowly, so does my pay. However, the meager amount directly deposited into my savings account does not. And now, as An Adult who is Independent, I am in student loan debt up to my ears. Debt I will begin paying this December. Am panicked. Must do something to cushion the blow now.

I have two appointments scheduled three weeks from now to learn more about feasible investment options: one with my bank, another with a company that received an excellent referral from a co-worker. However, I can't help thinking through all of this: if only I had done this TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO. With all the free money I had floating around, I could have doubled my car payments and had it paid off by THIS MONTH. Taken care of immature undergrad debt and cut up those cards for good. Slammed away into an IRA. This is what they should teach you in college.

Oh, well. Once I hit "Publish Post," I won't dwell on the shouldas, couldas, and wouldas any longer. I will be An Adult with a Plan.

There Are Lurkers in Our Midst

I visited this blog today, which talked about celebrating the wonderful concept that is de-lurking: that is, "taking attendance" of those who visit your blog but don't speak up. It sounds like she has software that tracks the number of hits she gets each day. I, for one, do not, so I would appreciate it even more if you made your voice heard - whether you already comment or not.

Now, my life. Things are good. I had a root canal on Monday that went really well, and I'm in zero pain, though I keep forgetting that I no longer have to guard the tooth with my tongue when drinking milk. Next dental endeavor: replace the molar I had pulled this past summer. Then I can demote my activity to a normal biannual cleaning. In the meantime, I'm thinking a lot about school, which starts tomorrow (assuming the roads will be clear and the university doesn't close). My last winter class. Possibly my last Thursday class. Oh, what a diligent student I will be this quarter. Straight A's to prevail all year round! I will walk across stage in June with magna cum laude status and seize the world!

Since the new year began, my head has been spinning with the goals I want to accomplish, mainly find another job and become Money Saving Genius. I'm currently in the market for some kind of investment planner who can help me manage my moolah. Should I pay off my car early before student loan debt hits this December or funnel all extra income into an IRA? How much extra income do I actually have? How many shopping sprees am I allowed before they become obsessive? Absolutely mind boggling. And all in time for my very own 25th-no-longer-will-I-ever-again-be-early-twenties birthday. This Sunday. January 9th. Just in case you want to de-lurk and offer warm wishes.

Merry Halloween!

Here it is, the morning of Hallow's Eve, and I'm already humming "Joy to the World." By this time last year, Christmas presents had already been purchased. I'm a little behind, but ideas are swimming around in my head, sharing space with holiday tunes.

I wasn't always this excited about Christmas. As an undergrad with only a part-time job, it was a hatefully mean time of year, designed to suck the financial life right out of you. I remember my senior year, having about 12 dollars in my pocket to last me through the month of December, with a slew of presents left to purchase. You see, in November I played the role of the responsible college student and cut up my two precious credit cards. A month later I was hating my responsible self. But like I said, I had to get these gifts. So, I carefully examined the two half-cards I still carried in my wallet. I had made the cut horizontally instead of vertically, which meant that the scan bar was missing but the actual credit card number and my name were still intact. Once at the mall, I showed five different IDs and pleaded with the cashier to punch in my number manually so that I could give my loved ones a very Merry Christmas. After 10 minutes, a call to Discover, and poorly disguised tears, I was able to charge what I needed. Despite the nonjudgemental staff, though, I never went there again.

Since I became a member of the full-time work force, things have been better. I start shopping earlier, and I only use my credit cards if I absolutely have to. This allows me to get excited about the whole process - malling, wrapping, card writing, and the like. So, Merry Christmas to you and yours! - I mean, Happy Halloween!

Oops, I Did It Again

My no-shopping resolution lasted about 12 hours - seven of which were spent in peaceful slumber - and crumbled instantly when I saw a Limited "Real Sale" flyer had been included in yesterday's mail. October 4th sale! Woo hoo! I cried, and by 2:00 p.m., my silver Cavalier and I were on our way to Lafayette. When I reached The Limited, finding out that the October 4th sale did indeed start on October 4th and not two days earlier just for Frema did not deter me from my mission: find great clothes! I ended up with three sweaters, one swingin' skirt, and an awesome handbag that has liberated me enough to throw away my raggedy ole tote for good. Next stop: Hot Line for a great pair of chocolate-brown knee-high boots, complete with "trashy" stilleto-like heel. I ended my fabulous spree with new make-up and a free(!) pair of panties from Victoria's Secret.

Did I spend a lot of money? Yes, yes I did. Was it wonderful? Absolutely.

Gimme All Your Money!

Relax, I'm not really holding you up. This picture was taken on Halloween night in 1993, moments after my dad showed me this really cool thing you could do with a stocking - pull it over your head! Needless to say, I wasn't very popular at 13, so I had time to hang out with my parents on major holidays. But that's OK; if I HAD been popular, this picture would have never been taken. Makes you cry with relief just thinking about it, doesn't it?

In more recent (and less scary) news, I blew $229 on my New York and Company credit card this weekend. Eeek! But it was sooo worth it. I worked out my bills today and realized that I can pay it off in full next month, which means no high interest rate. Nonetheless, I have to settle down and stay away from the mall. Every time I think I'm done, memories of Eddie Bauer khakis, Simple shoe casual wear, and sassy sweaters from The Limited keep me going back for more. All the money that I'm spending on attire should be going toward my Visa bills - especially since I'll graduate from DePaul in June, thus ending my glorious supply of student loan money.

But it'll be alright - after graduation, I'll land this fantastic job in the Chicagoland area and become the big-city woman I've always wanted to be - just like Mary Tyler Moore. Only my hat will be a lot more expensive than hers.

Limited Intelligence

This afternoon, I was preparing to mail out my September rent check; while looking for my landlord's address, I found my Limited statement tucked between the pages of my phonebook.

What a dofus. Yes, I mean me.

Limited Fear

I received my Limited credit card bill the other day and decided to pay it in person. I happily brought in my statement, got the bill paid in full (hooray!), and was then happily on my way. It wasn't until this morning going through the raggedy ole tote bag I call a purse that I realized the statement was gone.

I called the company and was greeted with a voice-automated system that says I can report my card "lost or stolen." I did it, thinking I'd be issued a new card and number and then be on with it. Nope. They just issue you a new card - same number - that features special coding to indicate it's the correct card to use. So I had to cut up my perfectly-good-not-lost-or-stolen-at-all card just to wait for another. When I tried to talk to a rep, the system told me they don't work on Sunday.

I'm a little PO'ed, but maybe paranoid, too. I'm imagining some sassy young thing will find the statement with a reciept showing the account is paid in full and then whoop for joy. She'll run to The Limited (since I probably lost it in the mall) and charge to her heart's content. Or she'll charge, charge, charge online, where they can't ask for a photo ID.

Somebody tell me I'm being silly. Tell me that a Limited clerk would have the smarts to ask for identification before charging to a piece of paper. That it was probably dropped in the store itself; or, at the very least, picked up by a 12-year-old boy who, finding the statement worthless, ripped it to shreds and threw it in the trash.

....

I just checked The Limited's Web site. You can't do online shopping. I feel a little better.

Entertainment Weakly

This past spring, I was spending almost $15 a month on magazines like Entertainment Weekly and Glamour. Ridiculous, right? Especially when these mags have 20 gazillion postcard inserts advertising subscriptions for as little as 12 bucks. So I took out those subscriptions and have saved myself a ton of money on reading material. There's just one problem: finding the time to actually READ it.

In this last week, I finally got to and finished my September Glamour and worked through the last three weeks of EW. Now, I'm finally on the current issue, which I need to get through fast or come Saturday, I'll find myself behind once again. And I have yet to mention the Poets & Writers subscription I paid for to keep myself abreast with current trends in the publishing industry. Thank the Lord that one is bimonthly - I haven't even touched the May/June issue yet. What's saving me money is costing me time.

I know what you're thinking: just don't read the friggin' magazines, right? But they actually teach me a lot. EW is no Weekly World News; the articles are in-depth, edgy, and mirror the kind of magazine writing I'd like to do someday. As for Glamour, the knowledge has more to do with finding a good pair of jeans and less about writing a catchy lead, but hey, I have to wear clothes every day, don't I? I'm constantly ripping out pages of great outfits to search for on my next trip to the mall.

Oh, well. If ever they release a pop culture edition of Trivial Pursuit, I'll be a genius!

Ellie Mae Down On the Farm

That's how I felt in this outfit at Samantha and Ryan's joint graduation party on Saturday, having more to do with the pigtails and less with my attire, but I felt fun, too. I haven't worn pigtails since grade school.

On July 1st, I had just one Visa card. By August, the number changed to four as I signed up for a New York and Company credit card over the weekend. One hundred and sixty-five dollars in a half-hour. Am I really good or just really gullible? To avoid repeating mistakes from years past, I am more cautious with my purchases when I get home, no longer in a hurry to rip off the tags and stuff my latest finds into the closet without giving them another once-over, trying pants on with heeled shoes and tops on with just the right bra. (It does make a difference, people.) Anyway, everything passed inspection except for one pair of black pants, which I can just return in a couple of weeks when I go back to NY&C and spend my special City Cash coupons. City Cash is the best invention ever. They pick a week to dole them out and for every 30 bucks you spend, they give you a $15 coupon. The best thing about them is you can use them all together, so $120 worth of clothes quickly turns into $60. I earned $175 in discount spending, so come the first weekend in August, Ellie Mae will be camping out at Southlake Mall.

However, as fun as my shopping sprees are, I also realize all that card swiping has been getting to my head. My paycheck is already close to gone, leaving me with pennies to buy groceries. At first, I thought I could manage on grilled cheese and green beans until next Friday. Then I thought, "If I can justfiy almost $500 on clothes, why can't I charge one fifth of that on that which keeps me alive?" So I did, and it felt good. Spaghetti, fruit snacks (what did I tell you?), chicken, hamburger, Little Debbies, frozen pizzas.... My God, it was almost like I was at The Limited. The feeling of guilty pleasure in buying what I can't afford was ultimately the same.

But so what? I'm not married, I don't have kids, and I'm not buying crack. I wore great shoes to work and cooked up a mean Sloppy Joe for dinner. All in all, not a bad day.

Give Me A Little Credit, Will You?

I received my first credit card the summer before my junior year - a pretty blue-and-grey striped Visa card with a $250 limit. By the end of that calendar year, the limit was up to $1,000 and I had spent $750 on painfully classy shoes, clothes I quickly fell out of love with, and gas for my many, many trips to Chicago. Four years, three cards, and a few thousand dollars later, I decided enough was enough. I gathered the courage to cut all of my cards (even my sexy tiger-striped Capital One) and go cold turkey on outlandish spending. As a result, I became a much smarter shopper. Have I enjoyed shopping sprees since then? Most definitely. But my new Spidey sense cut down on the number of clothes I ended up "dumping" once they reached my doorstep, far away from the pressure of the mall. Every department store that offered me a "very special credit offer" was delivered a resolute "No."

That is, until Friday. I guess you could say I fell off the wheel.

I couldn't help it. The Limited was having an outrageous sale, and for those familiar with The Limited, price slashing in that store is not to be ignored. Fifty-dollar capris at half-off. Darling $40-collar sweaters for a fin. Not having those clothes because I was low on cash was simply not option, nor was it ammunition enough to keep me from signing up for my very own Limited credit card. I confess, though, that my shameless spending at Victoria's Secret was less about necessity and more about "But they're so pretty!" I will receive my permanent Angels card in five to seven days.

For the 45-minute ride home from Lafayette, I felt defeated. My hard work at fending off "fluffy" credit cards and sinful shopping sprees was shot in one two-hour period. My spirits weren't lifted until I modeled every single garment in the comfort of my apartment and thought, "Damn, these clothes make me look cute. If only I had new shoes...."

The next day: Merrillville's Southlake Mall. I spent a combined $75 on New Balance sneakers and two great summer sandals from Payless. I found a great pair of Sherpa flip-flops for only $9. Nine dollars!... Don't you look at me like that. A deal's a deal, no matter what form of payment you choose. What would you have done, huh? WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?

I may be crazy, but at least my bras and underwear match beautifully.